Perfect Moments: A Mystery to Meditation

When I was younger, there were brief periods of times sporadically throughout the year where everything felt perfect. These were moments where my heart was filled with so much joy that I couldn’t stop smiling. All the worries of the world were lost on me. These moments of pure bliss made me feel like the sun is shining, birds are chirping, and flowers are blooming even when in reality they weren’t. I longed to have more of these “perfect moments” (a name I innocently gave this feeling) because I never understood why or when they happened. Sometimes it was while playing tennis, other times it was when I was simply hanging out with a friend. Sometimes it was outside in nature, sometimes it was at home.

Part of me wanted to know what consisted of a perfect moment and part of me wanted it to stay a mystery.

I’m curious to know if you’ve felt this calm and untroubled feeling in the past for short instances. Have you wondered why despite a presentation due the next day you still feel at peace? Or despite a long list of bills to pay you’re smiling?

Today, I was sitting poolside at my parents home alongside our puppy. There were all sorts of things on my plate: parents aren’t home, I was exhausted from all the travels, anxious about finding a job in this economy, still needing to pay my property taxes, and the endless process of cooking healthy food to go on a diet I started yesterday.

I should’ve be panicking. Yet, I felt so serene.

I heard a bell chime from my phone. 3 minutes were up. I rubbed my hands together and placed them over my eyes before I slowly opened to see the luscious tree filled backyard. I could feel it coming: It was a perfect moment.

The past 3 minutes were filled with nothing except the closing of my eyes and focusing on the sounds and touch around me. As hard as it was at first, I let go of everything one at a time and focused my thoughts on the wind whistling. Then slowly on the birds chirping. Then I transitioned my focus into how the pool water felt on my feet (refreshing). I had never noticed how gently my hands were placed on my knees.

It was my second day meditating. And I almost teared up when I opened my eyes.

Was this a perfect moment?

Growing up, I had constantly heard about the benefits of meditating. In fact, my mom and my dad both regularly took time off of their schedule to focus on breathwork, yoga, and meditation. I always pushed it off as something “adults need to do”.

Then I got a little older and people kept telling me I need to meditate. I felt a little attacked and laughed it off by saying “yeah I know”.

A few years passed and I ended up trying out a yoga class that incorporated meditation into their practice and I fell asleep half way through.

After a few more attempts, I classified meditation as something that’s just not for me, nor something I needed, and something that doesn’t have any benefit. Boy, I’ve never been more wrong.

Last year, after a nudge from a friend, I started following a neuroscientist and tenured associate professor in the Department of Neurobiology and Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine: Andrew Huberman. I discovered a few podcast episodes that highlighted the scientific process our brain goes through when we meditate and the benefits of it. My mind was blown and I was now fully convinced that this is something I need to practice on a regular basis now matter how hard it is.

A few months ago, I gave it a shot through an app and nothing.

Then I tried again and even 10 minutes were hard to go by. I tried to stay motivated but my thoughts kept wandering off. Eventually I gave up thinking I’m not ready for it. (big mistake!) In reality, I was putting too much pressure on myself to use the app I paid for, do it early in the morning every day, and focus on the breath for a full 10-15 minutes without any disruption of thought. All in all, I was trying to do the impossible on my first day.

Just like any other thing, focused meditation comes with practice. You can’t be expected to be an expert from day one, even if it is just breathing. If you’re anything like me, you’ll have to learn to let go of the pressure you’re putting on yourself and make meditating frictionless. I’m now starting again with a goal of 3 minutes per day (any time of day). When there are distractions, I will welcome it instead of avoiding it but quickly train my brain to go back into focus mode. Instead of focusing on just the breath, I will allow myself to focus on my other senses such as: smell, hear, and feel while my eyes are still closed.

What I’ve learned is creating a habit and putting pressure on yourself only leads to disaster, especially if you’re a perfectionist. The motivation to do something new only lasts a few days and then dies down. If you’re looking to start meditating, ask yourself: how can you make this beautiful & healthy habit as easy as possible for you to implement?

Because all I want is for you to have perfect moments too.