Mentorship: What it is and How to Form one
A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself. They are inspiration for you to learn from. They are the backbone for a successful career and life. Mentors are able to guide you from confusion to clarity. In all honesty, I wouldn’t have been able to achieve the successes I have without my mentors. Let me break it down further.
Why have a mentor?
Having a mentor can shorten your learning curve
You don't have to spend all that time yourself trying to figure things out
You can ask questions to gain specific knowledge in a field you're interested
A mentor can also provide a reality check
There are so many times I felt like there was no solution to what I was dealing with but talking to others and hearing "I've been there, I know what it's like" really helped bring comfort
Learn from their experience
Listening to your mentor’s stories about wins, losses, mistakes, and setbacks can help you learn how to take the best step forward
It will also help determine what you want to do in your career and create the life you want to live
Many people overlook the importance of having a mentor—but in actuality, it can be the difference between merely surviving in a career, and true, lasting success. The right mentor can help you overcome mental blocks, find out important information, get increased exposure in the industry. It can be a source of emotional support, appreciation, and even inspiration. People who are mentored often find they benefit from the positive reinforcement, trusting friendship, and new outlooks that cannot be found in most other places.
What is a mentor
A mentor is someone who has experience in a certain field who is willing to share their knowledge and advice with another individual. Ideally, your mentor is a person doing the thing you want to be doing. Generally speaking, the mentor is often more experienced in a given field and doesn’t necessarily have to be older. I learned early on that I have so much to learn and benefit from with people my own age.
What does a mentorship look like
Mentorships take many forms, from a one-time conversation to an ongoing professional relationship. It is important that both parties address their expectations and goals before beginning a mentor relationship. In the past, I’ve had mentorships range in all different ways.
For example, I found one of my best mentors at my corporate job through a official mentorship program and synced with them on a weekly basis with clearly defined expectations on what I want to learn.
I’ve also had mentorships form by a simple cold outreach that later developed into strong bonds through frequent communication.
Every mentorship has a time and a place. There are some individuals I still meet up with from 4 years ago and there are some mentorships that weren’t serving me any value and I had to rethink how I wanted to move forward.
Steps into finding a mentor
Finding a mentor is a critical step in creating a successful, long-lasting mentorship. You want to foster a relationship with someone who is knowledgeable and can provide you with the guidance and support you need. Here are four steps to get you started in finding the perfect mentor.
The first step is to research potential mentors. A great place to start is the internet, where you can read the biographies and testimonials from past mentees. Additionally, look to your professional or social network for people you admire and would be excited to learn from. You could even reach out to potential mentors for a brief "interview" to figure out if there is a good fit.
The second step is to identify what qualities you need in a mentor. Make sure to think realistically and ask yourself honest questions. Is the mentor you’re looking for someone who has been in the field for a while and can provide insight into the industry? Or could they be someone who understands your personal goals and objectives?
The third step is to use your resources. If you’re in college, find the alumni adviser or career counsellor and explain your situation. They may be able to connect you with a mentor who graduated from the same school and can offer important advice. Professional networks may also be able to provide guidance and connect you with potential mentors.
The final step is to never give up. Mentorships don’t happen overnight, so have faith and remain persistent. It may take time, but eventually you'll find the right mentor for you. Remember, your mentor doesn’t always have to be famous or successful, but rather someone who is patient, encouraging and understanding of your needs. With that, you’ll grow and develop your skills in no time.
How do u ask them to be your mentor?
You should never ever ask someone to be your mentor immediately or directly. Mentorship is a result of conversations over time. So start by asking someone for a quick phone or video call. If they live near you, offer to grab coffee in person! In-person relationships are often the strongest ones. Remember to let the mentorship develop organically.
If you’re reaching out to a potential mentor for the first time, here are some quick tips on writing an intro message:
Share that you’re excited to connect with them
“Hi [potential mentor name], hope your day is going well. I’m super excited to connect with you.”
Add a quick 1-2 line brief introduction about who you are, how you find them, and why you’re reaching out to them specifically.
“I’m [your name] and I have a background in ___. Currently, I’m doing this ___ and I would love to pick your brain on this ____. I saw that you have similar experience…”
Explain what you’re looking to gain out of the conversation
“…and would love to learn more about the steps you took during your transition from __ to __”
Ask exactly when they’re available to chat.
“Are you available next Thursday at 9AM for a quick 30 minute chat?”
Thank & Respect their time!
“Thank you and I’m really looking forward to our call”
Steps to maintain a mentorship
Mentorships play an essential role in helping form individuals into better and more successful versions of themselves. Maintaining a successful relationship is key. Below are 3 steps to ensure a healthy, long-lasting mentorship connection:
Open Communication: communication is key to help understand thoughts and feelings before any major decision or issue needs to be tackled. Keep lines of dialogue open, be honest and always be respectful. Talk through which methods of communication work best for both sides as well as establish a recurring cadence to keep each other updated.
Establish Goals and Share Progress: setting and working towards a shared goal creates a stronger foundation for the mentorship relationship. Be open to sharing wins as well as loses with mentors. Remember that they are here to guide you and care about your own personal success.
Note: with each meeting, have one large topic in mind to discuss rather than just providing a broad general update on life. The more specific you are, the more aligned your mentor can be in helping you.
Make Time: Without dedicated time and commitment, a mentorship is not going to last too long. Make sure to meet regularly and also allow flexibility due to commitments and other obligations.
Pro tip: Come with each meeting prepared with a list of questions you want to ask them.
Bonus section on how to leave a mentor relationship if its not working out
Sometimes things don't quite go as well as you had hoped and the beautiful mentorship you thought you’d had isn’t serving you any purpose. So what do you do if you they aren't who you thought they were or you're just not gaining that much for the mentorship?
First off, you will want to consider if the relationship can be recharged to see if your mentor can adapt with you. Have a clear conversation about your goals and their background.
If you’re ready to end the mentorship, definitely show your appreciation (over a call, email, and otherwise) and thank them for all the time they've already spent on you. Tell them exactly what you've learned and how those skills will help you. There’s no need to go into detail about why it isn’t working out, simply state that it’s not the right fit for you and thank them for their effort. Make sure to express your appreciation and respect for their mentorship.
The other thing I see many young professional do is stay in a mentorship out of obligation. Do not do this - you’re only wasting your time and theirs (after all time is the most precious element in the world). Although it’s important to be as respectful toward your mentor as possible during the process, it is important to prioritize your own progress and development.
Again, make sure to emphasize the positives and never ever burn bridges - you never know when you might encounter them again.