Mini-Retirement Doubts + Thoughts

What is life’s purpose? What is it that you’re truly looking for?

I graduated college in 2019 with an engineering degree and immediately started working at a big tech company in Silicon Valley. It was great: I was constantly learning new things, meeting amazing people, growing my skills, and progressing in my career. But something felt off. I was doing everything I’d ever wanted. My coworkers were precious and while I was learning new things, I still felt boredom. With each role I had, I was able to pick up the skills and turn it into a well oiled system in 3 months. Post 3 months, the learning curve flattened out and I was bored.

During my time at corporate, I tried several things to keep me entertained/challenged outside of work: working on this blog, mentoring others, investing in real estate, travelling, etc. Trying some of my interests was a great way to gauge if those activities fulfilled me. It’s part 1 of what led me to my big decision.

As with my job, I had big goals and I was ready for the next promotion, to lead our team, to define the next route to market but large corporate companies don’t allow you to get promoted that easily. There’s a gap in what one is capable of vs. what one is allowed to do and that just didn’t sit well with me. This was part 2 of my reasoning.

I decided to quit my 9-5, take a mini retirement, and see where life takes me.

During this 4 month period, I was able to travel to Portugal for 3 weeks, spend amazing quality time with my family during the holidays, re-design my short term rental, and start writing a personal finance eBook. Being able to live my life without any guidance has it’s own pros and cons. I thought about pursuing real estate, starting my own business, and finding other ways to make money passively. I was getting brainwashed by financial independence (FI) folks.

As the weeks went by, I realized that chasing FI wasn’t fulfilling either. Because what I was chasing was money. And money has never been something that satisfies me. At the end of the day, my corporate job was making me more money than real estate was and I wasn’t fulfilled either way. I had frightening moments of doubt. All my friends, peers, family was on their regular 9-5 grind and I had my days to myself with the freedom I wanted but it felt lonely instead.

I kept questioning my decision to quit my job:

→ Was I just not patient enough?

→ Am I just lazy?

→ Is this as good as it gets? Maybe it was better when tasks were being assigned to me..

→ Am I really on a successful path or am I just kidding myself?

It was awful. I can do anything I want. I have the time, the money, and the freedom. Why am I not happy?

Surrounded by materialistic people, I realized these outdated comparisons had stuck with me. That “more is better” and “money = success”

Tim Ferris made a great point in his book “These doubts invade the mind when nothing else fills it” When we’re in a state of nothingness, we fill our minds with a state of wrongful doubts, meanings, and questions with no answers.

Simply, life is meant to be enjoyed. While the way to feel enjoyment is different for everyone, there is one thing in common we all secretly enjoy: learning. Travelling, cooking, drawing, writing, reading, and trying new activities are all forms of learning. And full-time work isn’t bad if it’s what you’d rather be doing. So the question is really: what would you rather be doing?

Here are some questions to help guide you:

→ What makes you most angry about the state of the world?

→ What are you most afraid of for the next generation?

→ What makes you happiest in life? How can you help others have the same?

And there came my full circle of life moment: money didn’t make me happy nor did it fulfill me. A corporate job bores me. So what problem do I want to solve and work towards?

I’m currently on the path of narrowing down what path I want to pursue and I’ll keep you posted as I do. After all the whole point of sharing my journey to encourage you.

If you’re in the same place as me, know that it is completely normal and okay to feel these doubts. They’re a part of the big decisions. Try to strengthen your confidence during this time and work through the doubts with your mentors.