A Guide To Making Friends In A New City

I've tried to write this article 3 times now. Once when I moved for my internship, next when I moved after college, and now a third time when I moved to a new city during the pandemic. With the world slowly opening up, I figured now's the perfect time to talk about “how do you make friends as an adult?”

We're no longer set up in group projects. We're no longer forced to go on playdates. We're no longer “required” to do any activity really. All that matters is your job and you could be doing just that and be fine. Makes it hard to make friends, doesn't it? Especially when we're working from home.

This is exactly what happened to me. I moved to a new city amidst the pandemic in the month of November. With the on-going pandemic there were only few people to begin with and with the holidays coming up, that number went down even further as people travelled home to celebrate festivities with their families.

So here I was, eager to move into my apartment, decorate the place, and check out cool new activities… but with whom? I figured out how to do a lot of things by myself from driving a car up and down hills to finding new grocery stores to assembling furniture. This is really where I learned a lot about who I am and I want you all to know that there's nothing wrong with doing things solo. In fact, that is what inspired me to write "solo, not lonely" so be sure to check that out if you haven't already.

But you've got to admit that we are social creatures and at some point or another having a friend's company is nice. And although it took months to truly figure it out and make real, genuine friends, I wanted to share some resources that helped me get there.

Friends of Friends

One of the easiest, most convenient ways I made friends was through friends of friends. When some of my close friends found out I was moving, they immediately reached out and connected me with others in the same city. Although a bit awkward at first, I met up with those friends of friends and clicked immediately. Having that one source of connection already gives that friendship a head start on things to talk about.
Those "distant" friends also came into play here. I can think of at least 4 people I saw on my Instagram/Snapchat post stories of living in the same city as me. Happily surprised, I messaged them asking how their move had been. And what do you know, they are so relieved to know someone else living in the same town and want to meet up for lunch/coffee!

Facebook/Twitter/Meetup Events

The second biggest way I found in meeting people are pre-organized events. These are incredibly easy to attend. These Facebook and Meetup events are already planned, already hosted, and already have tons of people going to it. All you need to do is show up. In fact, I attended my very first one this past weekend. As I walked in the nerves got the best of me - I didn't know what I'd say, what I'd do, how I'd act but after clearing my thoughts and taking a deep breath, I simply walked up to someone, introduced myself, asked how they found out about the event and the rest is history.

Groups/Clubs

Third, I highly recommend groups and clubs pertaining to your interest. I know, I know, you have to have interests and hobbies?? And can watching Netflix and eating pizza be one of them? But one thing I've realized growing up is your hobbies lead you to closer friendships than anything else. Finding people through a shared interest, whether it's going to the gym, playing volleyball, creating art, or even trying out different styles of pizza, is one of the strongest bonds you can form. 

1. I don’t run competitively but sharing the fact that I do go on runs semi-regularly has helped me find other people open to exploring the neighborhood through evening jogs. Last year, I joined a table tennis club that helped me connect with other individuals with a similar interest. If you keep exploring clubs in your city, you'll find there's one for absolutely everything. Dancing, Playing Instruments, Pottery Making, Cooking, Swimming, you name it! Something as simple as joining a gym membership will help you find people with shared interests to connect with so try it out and let me know how it goes!
   

2. For all you ladies out there: Bumble BFF
   Sorry boys, this one's for the ladies. I recently found a feature on Bumble that allows you to match with friends in your area. Similar to online dating, here you get to pick your preference on what age range of friends you're looking for, set a bio, answer some 'ice-breaker' questions, and even set a distance radius. I ended up using this feature and it helped me make one of the best friends I have out here. It was super comfortable, easy to set-up, and going in with zero expectations helped me meet people from all stages of life.

   However, similar to online dating, it can be a bit of trial and error.
   

3. Online Friends
   Last but definitely not the least: online friendships. I make this my last bullet point because I do want you to meet people in person and form friendships in real life but if that isn't working out (at least not yet) then the internet is definitely a place that connects us all. There are a countless number of apps out there that help you stay connected as well as meet new people. I already mentioned Meetup before for an in-person event but you can use this to meet people online as well. Another great one nowadays is Clubhouse. You can now join online discussions with 100s of people with a shared interest. Don't be afraid to reach out. After all, they're probably in the same boat as you so why not take that first step into what could be a lifelong friendship.