Social Media: The Silent Killer
ding - “Chelsea liked your photo”
~2 minutes later~
ding - “You received a text from Andrew”
~5 minutes later~
ding - “Congratulate Jose for starting a new position”
Sound familiar? Owning a smart device has made our lives easy and difficult at the same time. The benefits are obvious, some of which are:
You can connect with friends on the other side of the world in minutes
You can pick up your phone and check for directions wherever you are
You can get answers to any question in seconds
The whole world is at your fingertips - doesn't it feel heavy? I grew up like most of you did with technology always available when wanted or needed. It was awesome! Until it started weighing down on me. The constant pressure of being on social media or connecting with people online started to grow. I remember when I first moved to a new town, a friend I made at school invited me over to her house to hang out. There were three of us and I was looking forward to it! The entire time, all we did was sit on our phones and scroll through Instagram and Facebook. Is that what hanging out has become these days? It was disorienting.
While social media aims to reduce boundaries and bring people closer together, I'm afraid it's actually doing the opposite. How many times have you gone to lunch with a friend and they're on their phone? How many times are you standing in line at a coffee shop and you see people head down scrolling endlessly? Oh you haven't heard? Making conversation with people and taking time to enjoy the scenery is so 90s. I've seen this happen with my own friends. Instead of leveraging social media to create more real connections, it's seemed to replace in-person friends completely. It's become a substitute for living your real life.
We are all humans: social creatures that need a social life. And social media is not a sustainable or healthy replacement. There's a couple of things we need to consistently address and think about because the downsides of social media are often subtle.
The Dopamine Effect
Dopamine is the chemical in our body that makes us feel pleasure, motivation, or satisfaction. Although this sounds positive, this is the exact chemical our brains release when we hear notification pings on our mobile devices. This is exactly how our body works when we win a game, take a bite of chocolate, or receive a friend request. This is where the addictive nature of social media comes into play. Apps are designed to send users multiple notifications several times a day (that's how businesses make money). With notifications triggering several dopamine reactions a day, our brain consistently craves more. We want more likes! We want more friend requests! We want more updates! More, more, more!
These constant alerts around the clock are what make social media detrimental to our life and a slave to our cellphones.
The Comparison Factor
When you are isolated, you are focused on yourself. When you put yourself in a place where there's millions of people including (models, entrepreneurs, authors, star athletes), you start comparing yourself to them. I've heard my friends say things like "I hate my nose - I need a nose job like so&so", and "I was scrolling through Forbes 30 under 30, I feel so unaccomplished". Role models are so important; it's something I preach for. But if looking at people's success is making you feel low and not inspiring you, then why are you putting yourself in that position?
It gets worse. The frequency and intensity of things like stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness is amplified with the increase of social media usage. It saddens me to see people around me feel less confident in themselves solely because of what they see online. There are always going to be smarter, prettier, and more successful people out there. That's a fact of life and you cannot keep comparing yourself to someone you're not. If you are in this boat, I urge you to take a moment to think about where you were a year ago and see how far you've come. It's incredible to see your growth and what you've accomplished in the middle of a pandemic regardless of what kind!! Just know that I am proud of you for who you are, however you are.
The Time Lost
I want to pause for a moment here to reflect on how many hours you spend on social media daily. This includes Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, LinkedIn, YouTube, Reddit, Pinterest, and WhatsApp.
I'm not lying when I say my own family spends anywhere from 2-6 hours per day on these platforms. That's 25% of your day gone, just like that. Now imagine if you spent those hours on something more productive, something that's beneficial to your well-being and your mental state. What if you read for an hour? Exercised for an hour? Developed a cool app? Learned a new skill? (I've always wanted to learn how to sew!)
Social Media is a distraction from real life and the more time you spend on these apps, the more disconnected you might feel from yourself. I remember before I had a phone, every 'awkward moment' was spent thinking, reflecting, and observing. Now to avoid the awkwardness, I pull out my phone, open Instagram and continue scrolling. Social Media is a vicious cycle that lures you back, wastes your time, and holds other negative externalities you don’t even notice until it’s too late. It’s up to you to stop it from consuming your day.
I could write about this topic forever. Hell, I haven't even mentioned the numerous studies around increased use of social media correlating with increased numbers of growing depression and loneliness. If you're curious about some of these harsh impacts, I encourage you to do some research on your own and check out these articles while you're at it:
I know it feels good to get more followers, views, and likes. You know what feels better? Having a genuine conversation and catching up with an old friend. This upcoming week, try hanging out with 3 people in person on separate occasions. These could be existing friends, co-workers, or someone you're meeting for the first time! After the hang-out, tell me how you feel, I'd love to hear all about it :)